—
Chapter VII
—
Agent Mikasa Ackerman. Killed in Action.
The neon blue text glowing against the dark backdrop of Armin’s
computer screen caused him to blink viciously, until reality concluded
its delayed permeation into his still-aching head. The starkness of his
current bedsheets was a mirror image of his former office walls, void of
any blemish that could possibly distract from the goals meant to be
achieved within its confines. However, the gentle wrinkles upon the
fabric, coupled with how it shifted leisurely alongside his own strained
movements, proved that there was actually some spirit left in this new
abode – and within himself. Lifting a hand, he touched the fresh
bandages that properly wound around his head, just to ensure once and
for all that his current surroundings were not mere fantasies.
Less than twelve hours ago, he had been awakened by the alarming
smell of smoke, with its foggy embodiment slithering in from every which
direction and choking his lungs via a pitiless assault. But before
panic settled in, a staunch figure had completely broken down the door
to Krista’s guest room. Without a single word Erwin Smith – so recently
still a target of his operations – had proceeded to wedge Armin’s
slackened form between a muscled arm and a robust torso. Before long,
they were rushing through a literal hell of blazing, victimized house
furnishings, all succumbing to a crime of arson that had been designed
to snatch the younger man’s final breaths.
Only when Erwin and him both drew in fresh night air again did Armin
realize that Krista – unconscious, face blackened by smog, but alive -
had been protected under the tall blond’s opposing arm the entire time.
“One day, you’ll learn to thank me for always tracking your whereabouts.”
Despite blurred senses, Armin had heard his savior give a snappy
statement towards another individual resting elsewhere upon the cement
road.
“Just shut…up and save her…” The response had sounded desperate and incoherent, but there was no mistaking whose had spoken the request.
Levi?
And Mikasa…? Where are…
Concern for his comrade was the last thought to cross Armin’s mind before he also tumbled into a dark recess.
“How is the hacking going?” From his current doorway, a familiar
voice jolted him out of reveries he preferred to soon forget. His mind
quickly readjusted to the fact that it was now 11:34 am the next
morning, and he had been up for exactly two hours and six minutes.
Fifty-seven minutes ago he had requested from Hanji Zoe the use of a
laptop with an untraceable connection, and about thirty-two minutes
after that, he had successfully breached the final level of security
placed upon his ex-employers’ database records.
In the more ominous corner of his thoughts, Armin also recalled what
the brunette woman had mentioned earlier – how just a few rooms away,
his gravely injured comrade was now being treated and observed in The
Legion’s version of Intensive Care – unconscious, but still breathing.
“It’s going well.” Tossing the poignant thought aside for the moment,
he nodded with as much confidence as he could gather. And just as he
finished saying the final word, Hanji plopped herself down upon the
chair situated next to his bed.
“Did you find out anything important?”
Gingerly, Armin turned the computer screen in her direction, allowing
a comprehensive view of Mikasa’s updated profile. “It seems that they
think the assassination attempt was successful.” He elaborated upon the
displayed words, though he knew they spoke for themselves. “Mikasa is
now ‘dead,’ at least according to database updates on the surface. But
knowing these people, internally speaking she is at most MIA, since no
one ever saw a recognizable body for themselves. Those in charge will
surely keep an eye on her potentially resurfacing…even for years to
come.”
Hanji rubbed at her pointed chin as she digested the analysis in
full. But even by that innocuous action alone, Armin could envision the
woman’s brain dashing through the multitude of risks and consequences
that required additional examination. After a few more seconds of
silence, she finally slapped palms upon both kneecaps and flashed her
signature asymmetrical grin – an expression somehow both unsettling and
reassuring – back towards him.
“Well for now, hopefully our friends at the morgue will hold up their
end if they are interrogated any further.” Irises sparkled with
mischief, seemingly further emphasized when viewed in contrast with her
shaded lenses.
The expectant statement served as another reminder of their
conversation after his initial awakening, when Hanji had explained that
the local hospital happened to possess far more than a few newly burned
corpses, and that those could serve as their decoy selves against the
inevitable meddling by government investigators. In any other universe,
Armin would be stunned by the horrific coincidence, but he knew all too
well that with the crime levels of the area, violent and fatal incidents
were merely standard routine. Nevertheless, he reiterated grievances
that would surely guilt him for a long while.
“I still feel apprehensive about all this, putting even more people in danger for lying on behalf of us…”
“It will be fine.” One of Hanji’s hands moved from her knee up to his
shoulder without warning, but to Armin’s own surprise, he did not feel
the need to flinch from the sudden contact. “I already made sure that
all dental records have been forged properly. No one will have reason to
suspect that anything is amiss.”
“Right.” He nodded once more, finding that his breaths now conveyed
more relief than anything else. “And I just replaced Mikasa and my
original dental records in the agent database with the ones you gave
me.”
“Did you now? You are
really something else, kid.” Shaking her head languidly, Hanji voiced an impressed seal of approval.
If I were all that…I probably would’ve realized everything much sooner.
The emerging self-criticism caused Armin’s fists to clench with regret,
and instead of responding to the compliment, he decided to shift the
subject matter elsewhere. “Are all of your faction members safe and
accounted for?”
His conversation partner leaned back further against her chair in a
stretch before placing both hands behind her neck. “Yes, I didn’t have
the chance to tell you before, since you were in a rush to access the
database. But soon after Levi left the teahouse yesterday many of your
former colleagues arrived to wreak havoc…we handled the situation fine,
with my special gas concoction and all. No serious casualties besides
twenty-or-so unconscious agents napping on top of each other across the
grounds, haha!”
It was now Armin’s to be impressed - and amused - at the described scenario.
“That Ymir woman insisted on going into hiding on her own…I’m
assuming out of guilt or fear of any reprisal from us for what she did.”
Hanji’s gaze lifted towards the ceiling as she recalled the fate of the
teahouse owner. “Honestly, with all the money serving as bribery, I can
actually somewhat understand why she betrayed our confidence. And I
guess she seems capable of handling herself…she has plenty of her own
underground connections everywhere, after all.”
“Yes, even Krista knows her well.” Armin thought back to past
conversations where the freckled woman’s name had come up in passing,
and how Krista’s eyes always seemed to glitter at every instance. “I
imagine she might go find Ymir after this and see if they can help each
other…”
“Well, two is always better than one!”
He almost chuckled at the enthusiasm in Hanji’s voice, as it seemed
almost out of place considering the dire situations they were still
embroiled in. Nevertheless, they had all lived to tell the tale – and
that alone was enough fuel for at least some optimism. Clearing his
throat, he turned towards his former adversary and gave the deepest bow
he could manage in his seated position.
“We owe your men a huge debt for saving all of us in time, Ms. Zoe.”
The apology sounded almost mumbled, even to himself, due to his
downturned face. “I’m…sorry about what we did as agents.”
To Armin’s surprise, he felt fingers entangle within the hair at the crown of his head before ruffling it playfully.
“Don’t worry about it.” Alongside the affection gesture came the
supportive response. “You even said it yourself - we barely shared any
damaging information despite your ongoing surveillance. I mean…who
could’ve imagined that all this was just so those corrupt hags could
make sure Mikasa would kill Erwin? Oy…”
Supportive, authentic, relaxed – the more he spoke to the brunette
and digested her true nature, the more Armin berated himself for ever
envisioning the easygoing woman as a ruthless human torturer. Gradually,
he raised his head again and looked her in the eye, as he was no longer
hesitant about doing.
“I guess they knew only she could manage such a task, especially when Levi was involved.”
At the mere thought of Mikasa again, guilt gnawed away at every inch
of him, and his gaze now sought reassurances he knew only Hanji could
provide at the moment.
As if sensing the slight foreboding tone at which he spoke, Hanji
immediately provided the answer he desired. “She remains stable, in case
you are wondering.” Umber brows shifted to angles that emphasized her
mutual concern. “Mikasa’s strong, she will make it.”
“I know. I just wish I could speak to her this very second, even if
just to reassure her.” Expelling a sigh from his lungs, Armin decided to
confess his remorse to the full extent. “I feel responsible for what
happened to them, and for Krista…losing everything again. If only I had
known about the government informants scouting the streets as we were
passing through that day…”
“Don’t blame yourself for the foul intentions of others.” Hanji’s
palm returned to his shoulder, only this time it was paired with a
resolute squeeze. “And don’t you
dare apologize for them, kid. They don’t deserve that grace.”
The words infused a much-needed reminder into Armin’s psyche, serving
as a formal treaty to resolve the ongoing battles of his conscience.
Though his years of loyalty were given to the wrong side, the light at
the top of the dry well never dimmed. On the contrary, whatever blockade
had existed to obstruct his escape had now been ripped wide open, and
he recognized that renewed hope lingered just outside of this recovery
room.
“Yes, you’re right.” At last, a genuine smile crept into his expression. “Thank you…for the reminder.”
“Like I said, as long as everything between us is cleared up in the
end.” Seemingly relieved herself at his more tranquil demeanor, Hanji
gave a wink behind her glasses. “Due to the circumstances you have found
yourself in, I will ensure that you have our protection in the future.
But…would you perhaps consider
working for us, Armoire? To help those who actually deserve to be helped?”
Once again, her words gave Armin pause, though this time it was for a completely different reason.
“I am not opposed to doing that.” He released a chuckle at memories
of Hanji’s preexisting admiration, as overheard during the surveillance
period. “As long as…you learn how to say my name correctly.”
-
“Mikasa…”
“Mikasa…”
She dashed through the labyrinth in an erratic journey,
attempting to pursue the echoes of her name coming from countless
directions. Bare feet touched neither soil nor grass but crunched
against a flood of reddened leaves, all detached from their mother trees
as the seasons shifted at a relentless pace within her imagined
universe.
Mother? Father? Is it dinnertime? I’m…on my way…
As she rounded a corner, Mikasa came face-to-face with a handsome
stranger donned in all black, standing solemn at the center of a
crossroads while one of his hands gripped upon his white cravat. The
paths behind him projected into destinations unknown, though in her
heart, she knew that the sources calling for her waited at the end of
each one.
Who…are you?
She inquired as her footsteps slowed to a halt. When
he detected the sounds of her approach, the man’s head turned towards
her in pained acknowledgement.
No more running in this direction, Mikasa.
The shapes formed by
his thin lips failed to match the command perfectly, for a languid delay
inserted itself between each spoken syllable. Hidden under wisps of
black hair, steel blue eyes bore a vivid familiarity as they beckoned
her to change course.
It’s time for you to head back home.
But I no longer have a home.
Despite a lack of identification her
hands rose and reached for him, as if seeking out comfort that had been
lost somewhere in the smothering atmosphere of this world. My parents call for me now, but I no longer know which direction to go. I am…alone.
Grasping her wrist, he drew her into him as if it were the most
natural gesture, entwining their bodies in a manner that injected warmth
and life back into her every vein. No, never alone.
The embrace tightened for a moment before he pushed them apart again. Give me your hand.
Mikasa obliged with reluctance, for she somehow felt that
whatever trust had existed between them was wounded at best. When his
calloused fingers placed a squirming object within her palm she gasped,
and after retracting her entire arm, she looked down to find a praying
mantis now dwelling amidst the lifelines that embossed her skin.
I’ve seen this before…
Yes, when you were younger in this world. But you also saw it in
another life, where we both battled with weapons that looked just like
what this creature possesses.
Somehow, her brain did not process the portion about their
co-existence in that alternate universe, and so she watched the insect
with the same curiosity as she did as a child, marveling at its regal
posture and pair of bladed forelimbs – only this time, a thin spread of
crimson coated the jagged edges, forming a blatant complement to its
emerald physique.
Blood?
Shuddering, she looked back at the stranger with anxious eyes.
Mine.
He raised his own palm for her to observe the minute lacerations that had been curated prior to her arrival. It was trying to wake me up…to bring me home. But it’s not my time.
This…can take us to where we should be going?
Yes, just trust it and let it conduct its free will.
He assured.
Don’t be afraid of blood any longer, Mikasa. You’ve drawn enough - and
shed much of your own - in the name of muddled purposes. But everything
will be clearer again, once you return home.
Mikasa opened her mouth to question his exact meaning, but a
tinge of pain prevented her from releasing anything beyond a yelp, and
she could only gape as a familiar red tint spread across delicate tissue
from the fresh, tiny cut that the praying mantis had inflicted. The
sight would have been unpleasant in any previous circumstance, but an
unexpected sense of elation accompanied the blood’s emergence, and all
the recent memories that had gone absent slowly returned to resuscitate
her mind. Before she realized it, her body became truly weightless and
floated further and further into the air – above the leaf-covered
ground, above the labyrinth walls, above the man – Levi? Was that his
name? – and his standing form.
Wait, what about you? When will it be your time?
She called from the skies right before the grapples of true consciousness took hold.
A somber smile flashed across his sharp features.
Go home, Mikasa. Don’t wait for me.
—
Her eyelashes fluttered open to an intense bout of fluorescent light,
basking everything in her peripheral in an almost heavenly glow. Her
immediate reaction came in the form of a migraine, followed by vague
pain and discomfort along the left side of her torso. To her slight
relief, however, Mikasa felt only the presence of a singular, thin tube
running from her nostrils into her throat, rather than a multitude of
conduits that could’ve very well gagged her.
The bullet went through my ribs and collapsed one lung, she recalled grimly as she attempted to shift her entire body position.
But at least this shows that I can still breathe on my own. I cannot seem to move very easily, however…
“You’re still weak, Miss Ackerman.” A deep voice to the side
interrupted her self-diagnosis. “You have been under an induced coma for
a month. And don’t think that I’ve been waiting at your bedside all
this time…Hanji just informed me earlier today that it would be safe to
awaken you.”
Startled by the presence of another – her heightened senses of
awareness had not reactivated yet – she turned her head sluggishly to
the side to regard the unwanted companion, even though she already knew
who it was. When the masculine features of Erwin Smith – well-dressed
and arms folded as he leaned against the wall - came into sight, she
squinted in feeble antipathy. The sentiment was short-lived, however, as
her mind finally processed the most crucial parts of his words. Not
only had he used her real surname – meaning that her identity as agent
was no longer under wraps, but he had also revealed the disconcerting
duration of her dormancy.
“One…month?” Her chapped lips throbbed as they were finally ordered to move after an extended period of inactivity. “Where are…”
“Mr. Arlert and Miss Lenz are safe.” To her chagrin, Erwin continued
to deliver every sentence with an almost robotic tone. “That’s what you
wanted to know first, right? Armin has been working alongside Hanji here
at our headquarters, in fact.”
Even in Mikasa’s half-alert state, that final development
nevertheless surprised her more than how exactly they had ended up in
The Legion’s hands. Still, the consolation of Armin’s safety trumped
above all other apprehensions. Right before she was shot on that
dreadful night, she had been fearful of what would befall her gifted
colleague and friend, since he was already afflicted by his own injury.
If Armin accepted who he now owed his life to and joined the faction for
that reason alone, it was likely a small price to pay.
Before I was shot… Her thoughts of one individual now
shifted to another, as she began to recall the full circumstances that
took place one month past.
“And Levi…Levi,” She found it difficult to verbalize his name, for a
part of her did not dare to find out the answer. “Where is he?”
He might have brought me back because it was ‘my time,’ but he himself…
As if on cue, Erwin slowly unwound his arms from their rigid state,
instead placing them at his sides. “He was wounded very badly and
suffered immense blood loss, so we’re still keeping him under close
supervision.” Cobalt blue eyes met hers in a penetrating fashion.
“Contrary to your case, his coma…was not merely induced, unfortunately.”
The news prompted the existing ache along Mikasa’s left side to
travel upward into her chest cavity, enveloping her thumping heart with
suffocating remorse. Though she was thankful to all the heavens that he
had not perished, their blighted journey would still be denied an
uplifting conclusion. Even if it was all a figment of her own
imagination, she pictured him still trapped in that maze of despair,
wandering between worlds forevermore.
I should’ve remembered you…I should’ve grabbed for you and not let go…
“I want to see him…” Vocalizing the sudden urge, she struggled to sit
up and drive her hope into motion. But all efforts proved futile as she
finally detected the cold metal loops attached to her wrists, with
their other ends secured upon the patterned bars running along her
bedframe. “What…what the hell is this?”
“I’m afraid I cannot allow that right now, Miss Ackerman.” Erwin
walked to her bedside at a calculated pace, eventually gripping one ring
of the handcuffs rattling against Mikasa’s furious movements before
holding it in place. “Despite your frail state, I know
exactly what you’re capable of. And if you still don’t trust us, then I cannot trust him being anywhere near you.”
She forfeited all efforts at controlling her mounting rage. “You don’t fucking understand—”
“I understand perfectly what
you mean to
him, but
forgive me if I doubt your complete reciprocation.” The commanding blond
continued to express steadfast cynicism as he gazed down upon her bound
figure, with no sign of retreat.
If it’s a challenge you want, a challenge you will get. “You
know very well he tried to protect me from that first bullet.” She bit
back, straining against the combination of her binds and her own lack of
strength. “We might be on opposing sides, but I
know when I owe a debt.”
To her own surprise, Erwin actually seemed to soften at her
statement. With a sigh, he turned to find a seat upon the undisturbed
corner of her mattress, all while being careful to not stress the
furniture with his added weight. Dipping his head momentarily in
contemplation, it took another whole minute before he lifted his eyes to
hers again.
“I’m…not sure if you realize the
actual extent of everything, Miss Ackerman.”
She blinked in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Let me explain how you got here…which I’m surprised you have not
asked about yet. The teahouse was raided that day after Levi left, but
we took care of the intruders quickly.” He recalled the memories of her
last conscious day from his perspective. “From the mouth of one whom we
captured, I figured out what had been taking place…and that
you
were actually the infamous Agent Ackerman. Thankfully Levi left a
strong enough trail for us to follow, so my men and I arrived at Miss
Lenz’s place right as it started to burn and helped all of you
escape…your former bosses had set the home ablaze after shooting you
both, in case you were wondering.”
Mikasa felt a shudder surge down her body at the rehashed tale,
though she practically expected such harrowing acts of “clean-up” from
those she knew all too well. In order to maintain her composure, she
rolled her eyes in an act of feigned disinterest. “Get to the point.”
“I won’t claim to be virtuous, Miss Ackerman – I never do. Throughout
this whole ordeal I was more than prepared to kill you if you weren’t
who you seemed, and I was tempted to leave you dying in that burning
house.” Erwin looked away and leaned forward, linking fingers from both
hands underneath his chin. “But then, from Levi’s own bleeding mouth I
found out who you
truly were in the context of years ago…” He paused.
“Put these poor people out of their misery.”
Without warning, tears threatened to well within her eyes as memories
of the fateful order surfaced. Though she had not been this saddened by
the details for a long while, Mikasa knew her mind was still suffering
emotional imbalance from her sudden revival, on top of all the
revelations that had already been shared in the last five minutes.
Deep down, she knew it was about to get worse.
“I…apologize for your parents.” The man at the end of her bed finally
spoke up again, conveying repentant words with an attitude completely
contrary to his previous resignation.
She gasped, and the rapid motion led two streams of liquid to trail
down her cheeks. “You actually…think I would accept that now?”
"Just listen to me, Miss Ackerman.” Erwin returned her stubborn stare
with one of his own, though the arch of his thick brows indicated
hidden guilt. “The truth is, both Levi and I knew you were present back
then, standing not far from where your parents lay dying."
"…what?"
"You don’t remember, do you?" It was his turn to sigh. "Or…I imagine
you simply could not hear what I whispered to Levi at that moment. Our
real intentions.”
Against the even undercut of dark hair, Erwin leaned in to whispered indecipherable words before straightening once more.
“I…I don’t understand.” Mikasa attempted to process the moment as she
remembered it. Since it was exactly as he just described, whisper and
all, she felt unprecedented trepidation at what was coming next.
"Guns from the government troops were pointed in every direction,
even towards you. We had to distract them via a drastic action that
would refocus attention back to the two of us." Erwin continued
retelling his side of the distressing experience. "Otherwise, you would
be caught in the crossfire next. My own weapon had been lost in the
scuffles prior, so I gave Levi that order and whispered to him that we
had to protect you, a child, as priority."
Behind his blue eyes, Mikasa could tell that the tall man was
envisioning her bedridden figure as her 9-year-old self – the same
tearful, immobile, and fragile girl who failed to fathom comprehensive
realities. She knew that even if these new disclosures were false, they
seamlessly fit into her own recollections; Even if Erwin had spent the
past month weaving up this elaborate excuse, a part of her still wanted
to believe it so desperately – for such an explanation would at least
pardon the man who pulled the trigger - the man she
cared for - to some degree.
“Your parents were already beyond saving due to their wounds from the
crossfire …so we both tried to use uncivilized methods to save you. In
retrospect it was not wise, as you bore witness to the act, but
something had to be done in the heat of the moment…and who would’ve thought that years later…”
My survival…in exchange for my parents’? Fate continues to deal me the card of irony, after all.
“No, these are all lies.” She found herself shaking her head, still
unable to handle the enormous weight of the incessant explanations.
Ignoring her denial, Erwin continued his grievances. “All in all, it
seems… we only pushed you into a life you were never meant to lead. We
never expected the government to take custody of you right after you
were orphaned, much less train you to be one of the most dangerous and
most aloof…It’s no wonder we never knew your full name, or even gender,
for all these years.” He shut both eyes, hindering her view of the
ghosts that had begun to shadow their previously brilliant hues. “For
that, I am…regretful.”
“Stop
lying to me.” Mikasa’s plead was a borderline wail, a
cry for everything to stop making sense in the most horrific way. There
was little doubt that Levi knew he had been unjustly accused when she
first revealed her victimized identity, and yet, submerged in guilt akin
to Erwin’s, he had absorbed all blame and never gave her proper reason
for his past actions.
"Perhaps I cannot convince you that what we did for you is the
truth.” Erwin pressed onward, though more delicately now. “But I believe
you already know this fact from reading the files Mr. Arlert acquired:
that was the first and last time we had bystander casualties, and it was
the last time The Legion ever attempted public assassination. We
learned our lesson in the most detrimental way.”
Though it had been long since she last set eyes upon those
incriminating documents, she remembered that being the case. That - and
so many other details beyond what she thought the government was capable
of hiding or manipulating.
“Miss Ackerman.” The firm usage of her name meant that Erwin required
her full attention again. “Who do you think the real enemy is?”
Flashbacks of her training and all her past missions replayed in her
mind, culminating in a film reel that held little substance beyond false
pretenses. Now that her long-constructed veil of retaliation against
Erwin and The Legion had been removed as her ultimate purpose, she could
finally reevaluate her previous objectives with more clarity.
I was nothing more than a brainwashed pawn, blindly heeding the orders of those actually responsible for this world’s demise…
“We may have been on opposing sides, but as both you and Mr. Arlert
have now witnessed firsthand, we are no more your adversaries than the
people you have served for so long.” As if reading her thoughts, the
perceptive leader did not hesitate to drive further nails into the
coffin of her past. “In fact, you could consider us…the lesser of two
evils. Hanji for one is harmless - she would not hurt a fly unless under
extreme provocation.”
“I…I recognized that about her already.” Mikasa thought of her
conversation with the woman back at the teahouse, which had triggered
her uncertainties in the first place. “But it was never about Hanji…you,
and Levi…even if you were trying to protect me, you took away so, so
much…”
“We can never substitute what you already lost.” As usual, no
sugarcoating occurred in the older man’s words. “But perhaps I should
tell you one final detail: when we extracted you both from Miss Lenz’
place that day, Levi was still conscious. It was then that he insisted
on you being helped before himself…that’s why his treatment was delayed,
and why he is still lingering between life and death.”
Go home, Mikasa. Don’t wait for me.
“He…” Her voice nearly broke at his sacrifice.
The labyrinth, the praying mantis, it was all symbolic of reality, after all…
“Yes, he prioritized your life over his own, as he has apparently become so accustomed to doing.”
I just want you by my side, Mikasa. And if I ever do decide to leave the organization, I want you there with me.
Please, Mikasa…Let me keep you safe…from whatever is chasing after you.
She nearly sobbed aloud at Levi’s pledges from all those nights ago,
each now dangling above an abyss of beautiful uncertainties that might
never be fulfilled.
In the end, you were always there, and you already kept me safe…from so much.
Sensing her growing acceptance of trying facts, Erwin reluctantly
shifted closer, eventually gathering one of her limp hands in his. “But
keep in mind…
you saved
him in many ways as well, from
what I could witness.” He served a reminder of her pivotal role. “And
for that I – and I’m sure Levi – will always be grateful. I personally
don’t feel compelled to fully trust you just yet, but I will never deny
how much you’ve changed him, even in such a short period of time.”
A stinging jolt infiltrated Mikasa’s soul as she reminisced upon all
that they had shared, from initial tension to fervent passion to
heartbreaking resolution. Somewhere during all her years of existence,
she had lost herself beneath the bloodiest of shrouds, but Levi had
stormed into its confines and unraveled the crimson threads to set her
free, just as how lingering thoughts of him had aided her recent escape
from her own mind’s maze. They might never get past the initial tragedy
that linked their fates, but at least she could recognize that
ultimately, they truly fulfilled one another wherever gaping holes had
been left. Despite his own tormenting experiences he built,
thirsted for their connection – and for her sake he had given all of himself in the process.
“Do you still possess the desire to kill him? Or me, for that
matter?” Erwin’s serious inquiry prodded at the edges of her psyche. She
suddenly conjured upon a vision of her parents again, both calling for
her name as they usually did in her visions – only this time, it was not
for the sake of dinner, but the sake of her future.
Mikasa…live on.
She watched Erwin with intensity, scrutinizing the idea that this
unyielding man had given her both unimaginable suffering and –
indirectly - exceptional joy. She didn’t know if there was truly a
concept as that necessary balance of the universe, but with thoughts of
her parents’ ultimate request, she managed to swallow what still
remained of her previous misgivings.
“No. Even on the night when we were shot, I already made a decision to stand down.”
Whatever clouded Erwin’s eyes seemed to dissipate in a second. “Oh?”
“I still resent you for giving the order, but…” Her voice remained
peppered with bitterness, though she permitted clemency to dominate her
tone. “…perhaps vengeance is only a vicious cycle, and a fruitless one
as well, in this case.”
A hint of a relieved smile surfaced upon Erwin’s face, and the hand
that had already surrounded hers was joined by his other one as he
proceeded to affirm more verdicts. “Whatever our personal reservations
are from now on, I will always feel indebted to you for the loss I was
responsible for.” He balled her fingers together almost protectively.
“So even though you caused us great stress as a government agent in the
past, I am willing to help you. And perhaps…we can somehow reinstate
complete trust in the process.”
The proposal rendered Mikasa speechless for a moment, as she hadn’t
expected him to act as a father figure so swiftly and decisively.
So this is why Levi respects you so much. She mused, and the thought of him inspired her to provide her own conditions.
“Let me see Levi.” She shook the handcuffs still connected to her other wrist. “And I will agree to try your terms.”
Erwin gave pause before reaching into the left pocket of his
trousers, no doubt to retrieve the keys that would detach her
restraints. “I can tell that you genuinely care about him, Miss
Ackerman, but - do you…understand him?”
She scoffed.
“Mr. Smith, I am probably the only one in this whole damn world who understands him.”
—
With Hanji at her side to assist her balance, Mikasa shifted
gradually down the spotless corridor, one hand gripping the cool metal
pole of the IV stand that shadowed her path. Her muscles remained in
varied levels of atrophy, and hence even the most miniscule movements
required her utmost effort. The ground below each step felt as if it had
been comprised of pins and needles instead of linoleum, instigating
numbing pain that bud from the bottom of her feet and blossomed at the
nape of her neck, forcing her teeth to clench in the process. Against
all medical advice she had insisted on going to Levi as soon as
possible, and though the journey proved to be excruciating, her
stubbornness inched her forward.
The test of her endurance continued for another few minutes before
they finally arrived at a locked, beige door. Hanji leaned to insert her
key into the only aperture that separated them from within, but prior
to permitting entrance, she turned towards her utter a final warning.
“I need you to be mentally prepared for what you are about to see.”
Mikasa nodded, though weakly. “I’m sure I have seen worse.”
The door was pushed ajar, and she rounded the corner in the same
hurried manner as she had done in the labyrinth, right before
encountering his supernatural form. This time, however, Levi had not
stood there in waiting, and nor would he greet her – or even notice her.
The beeping of the heart monitor and the resonances of pressurized
air were only faint afterthoughts as Mikasa faced the troubling sight
just meters ahead. Her dried throat only became more parched as she
perceived the assembly of tubes and patches that invaded the body she
had memorized so well. Pale blankets and a gown similar to her own
covered the rest of him, concealing both healing flesh and withering
muscle. For a moment, she imagined the eagle upon his arm to be
hibernating as well, fatigued by all it had confronted and waiting for
its owner to awaken before taking flight again.
Leaning against Hanji for purchase, she stepped into the room and
closed the space between them little by little. Beneath the clear
material of Levi’s respirator she could slowly make out his distinct
profile, with the pointed nose that had exhaled wisps of desire against
her skin, and those lips that had convinced her to abandon all reason
time and again. She longed to kiss him, to breathe some life back into
this mute husk, but both of his features were now jailed within plastic,
barricaded from her touch at the cost of keeping all his systems
functioning.
As she finally came within tangible distance, Hanji left her side to
collect a chair that had been at the room’s corner. Centering her weight
at the balls of her feet, Mikasa knelt down in that brief moment, and
nimble fingers instinctively reached for his. She could detect the rise
and fall of his chest, a series of patterned movements that were too
robotic to represent his authentic spirit. Despite the visible stubble
lining his jaw, his fragility transformed him into a younger self, still
harboring the ghosts of his past in the dip of his brow and endless
qualms between every assisted breath.
Levi… She brought his frigid hand to her lips and blessed it
the only way she could, being careful to not disturb all the
contraptions connected to his flesh.
You and I…it was never a façade.
Hanji returned with the chair and proceeded to assist her into it. All the while, she did not let go of her grip on him.
“He made his own choices, you know.” The brunette stated with
sympathy. “It has been a while since he had the luxury to do that, even
if it led him to…this unfortunate point.”
She drew his hand into her lap, tracing the lines of his palm in a
hapless search of any scars from the imaginary praying mantis. “I feel
as if…we cursed each other’s fates ever since we were younger.”
“No.” Hanji positioned herself behind the chair and smoothed the back
collar of her gown in the most maternal way. “Your paths, as difficult
as they were, eventually united you and opened your eyes again to
something better.”
“Is this…really ’something better,’ Ms. Zoe?” She murmured, allowing
her gaze to examine Levi from head-to-toe again before landing upon her
own injured body.
“Do you remember our last conversation, Miss Mikasa?” Unlike Erwin,
Hanji preferred to address her by her first name, as it was the first
moniker she knew. “I had warned you that if anyone betrayed him, he
wouldn’t hesitate to hurt them back. But you were different…you were
always the exception, and not just because of what he did years ago – he
wanted to shield you even before he discovered that detail.”
The sobering reminder led Mikasa to stop tracing Levi’s palm and grip his entire hand protectively.
“After all was revealed, Levi still chose you above
everything
else, even himself.” Above her, Hanji’s proclamations continued.
“People in this world perish every second without understanding such
sacrifice…without giving…much less
experiencing love anywhere close to that level.”
Love. Something swelled within Mikasa at the candid mention
of the word. He had only confessed the word once in the midst of his own
distress, but she remembered all the small and significant instances
where he demonstrated it via action. She had always reciprocated with
reluctance, but just as how her tongue had uttered her feelings so
carelessly – no – so
truthfully that one blissful time, she
knew that Levi had already snuck into all the atriums of her heart ever
since they exchanged their first glance. From shared conversations to
perilous duels, their pulses had begun to beat in tandem at every
possible second. Only now, she was left with nothing but the mechanical
sounds that failed to correlate with any modicum of herself.
Love—she lifted his fingers to her lips once more.
Oh Levi, how I wish I could say that to you again this very moment…
At some point, Hanji had backed away to give her some space, and her
voice now resonated from closer to the doorway. “I know there is a lot
to remember and digest…just don’t forget that you probably saved
his
life as well when you tried to stop the bleeding.” She paid tribute to
what was perhaps Mikasa’s most critical action of all. “But as Erwin may
have told you already, after that much blood loss and trauma, we
just…don’t know when he will wake up again.”
The praying mantis was trying to wake me up…to bring me home. But it’s not my time.
Go home, Mikasa. Don’t wait for me.
“If Levi ever does come back, and I’m no longer here…” With his words
still echoing against her mind, she disclosed her final request. “Will
you tell him something for me?”
“No longer here?” Surprise saturated Hanji’s voice from behind. “Will you be leaving us?”
“Now that I know the full story, I realized that my parents would’ve
wanted me to live on, to find myself beyond seeking vengeance for them.”
She paused and extended an arm towards the bed, gently brushing a few
strands of hair from Levi’s forehead. “If Levi loves me, he would feel
the same…he would not want me to wait here for him and fade under
unsubstantiated hopes.”
“Mm, yes…I can’t say that I disagree.”
“I still may return.” Mikasa stretched her entire body towards him
this time, hovering her face above his as she spoke. “I just…need some
time to figure things out.”
With the utmost tenderness, her quivering lips found the spot her
fingers had just caressed, and she inscribed the contact into her memory
forevermore.
“So, Ms. Zoe – will you let him know something for me?” She leaned
back again after what seemed like eternity, turning towards Hanji to
repeat her wish.
Behind reflective lenses, something fluid glinted within the woman’s eyes. “Cer…certainly.”
“Tell him that I always meant what I said in my own language.” Mikasa
smiled openly for the first time since her awakening. “Levi will
understand.”
—
One year and two months later
Standing at the middle of the courtyard in a rose cardigan and a
billowing white dress, Mikasa concentrated all energy fully at the
center of her body, while her mental focus channeled only the most
significant of sounds through her senses. The katana in her grip
remained as motionless as the rest of her, with its blade not giving off
the slightest hint of trembling. The light refracting off the polished
metal occasionally fell upon three ceramic plates, all resting at equal
distance from her on the ground. As usual, she ignored the dozens of
tiny heads perched upon the surrounding windowsills, with each pair of
eyes curiously watching the scene. The occasional demands to
hush that came from the most obedient mouths, however, almost made her beam with amusement.
“Now!” A command suddenly roared from her right side.
Snapping her eyes open, Mikasa swung her arm in premeditated patterns
at the air in front of her position, with each strike fixated upon the
array of apples, oranges, and pears that continued to appear in her
attack range. Before long, the newly-sliced pieces of fruit fell victim
and landed at the direct center of the plates below, with all the juicy
portions cut into nearly identical shapes.
“Snack time, everyone!” From where the previous instruction had
sounded, a short woman with dirty blonde hair emerged and announced with
merriment.
“Wahhhh!” The audience of children cheered, and countless little feet
began to rush into the courtyard at exceptional speed. Before anyone
reached her vicinity, Mikasa swiftly sheathed her weapon and secured it
on her back again, just in case any wayward hands tried to grab for it
in the ensuing moments. Before long, the first set of kids surrounded
her legs, applauding and clamoring in a way that brought a genuine grin
to her face.
“How did you
do that???”
“That was soooo cool!!”
Even the snacks had been momentarily forgotten as squeaking voices
openly declared their admiration for her recent actions. Only when the
other young female around her age pointed out that the fruits were
nearly gone did Mikasa’s dedicated fanbase finally scatter about.
Chuckling, she left the kids with their fresh grub and walked towards her approaching colleague. “Thank you for the help, Rico.”
“Of course.” The woman named Rico proudly pushed her glasses up the
bridge of her nose. “They always love it when you perform this, so I
selfishly want to join in the fun.”
“Whatever brightens all their little faces makes my day, too.” Mikasa
glanced back at the children quickly, collecting one last bit of the
usual warmth that spread from their infectious joy. “I’m going to go
clean the blade now.”
“Alright, I’m going to wash all the plates once they’re done. See you later, Karula.”
Even with the pseudonym being attached to her new identity for so long, Mikasa paused before acknowledging the farewell.
With light footsteps, she returned under the roof of the building
that she had called home for the past year. The pastel paint colors
lining the walls of the Trost Orphanage were a constant comfort in her
current days, and her temporary position as caretaker – a complete
departure from her previous lifestyle – provided the stability and
psychological healing that Mikasa had always needed. Surrounded by so
many who nearly suffered due to circumstances similar to her own
childhood, she felt substantial solace in being able to return happiness
into the innocent, glittering eyes that now entrusted her as guardian.
All in all, Hanji had been wise in assigning her to this place as a
transitory refuge, especially as The Legion oversaw its security and
kept it far beneath the malevolent radar of their enemies.
Nevertheless, Mikasa continued a training regimen that prepared her
for whatever might lie ahead, and every morning she woke up at ungodly
hours to maintain the same strength and discipline routine that she had
become accustomed to as an agent.
If you ever have the desire again, you can return to the field as an operative for us. Erwin’s words from just before they parted ways constantly lingered in her mind.
But for now, think of the orphanage as your rehabilitation, for as long as you need.
Armin paid her occasional visits whenever he was able, each time
bringing more tales of life under his own pseudonym and of his work
under Hanji’s supervision. Though they both treaded carefully in their
daily practices, they also shared the sentiment that despite being in
hiding, more freedom actually existed in this new livelihood.
Every night, Mikasa’s dreams were no longer of horror but of Levi’s
embrace – those constant echoes of when they forfeited all supposed
falsehoods and dove into the truth that was one another. Prior to her
official departure from The Legion’s headquarters, she had stayed with
him as much as possible. But as the date of her orphanage transfer
approached the visits also became less frequent, since she knew she
could not bear the heartache of leaving him for that indefinite amount
of time. She was determined to progress in her new path, one that would
inevitably sever their likely ill-fated relationship and allow her to
somehow move on. Unfortunately, even when distance finally separated
them, the thoughts and memories of him pursued her relentlessly,
emptying their most fervent incarnations into her subconscious.
Sometimes, those phantom touches in her dreamscapes managed to haunt her more than past nightmares.
Whenever her morning training concluded and the younger residents of
the orphanage awakened, however, Mikasa’s smiles always became genuine
again. She allowed them to crowd around her, babbling on about the new
wonderments and discoveries of the day. They would then sit within
makeshift circles on the dining room floor, and she poured each child
his or her own cup of warm tea as she digested every word, sometimes
even attempting to respond.
No matter how dated the leaves were, she found that the resulting
drink always remained deliciously sweet when she savored it with them.
At every turn, the sight of the kids’ carefree faces restored the
missing parts of herself that had been lost to most previous quests of
rediscovery. And every moment shared in their presence brought her
meditative peace only the most fortunate in their world could
experience.
During those periods, she found that she could finally drive Levi, in all his flawed splendor, from the edges of her mind.
So the days progressed in animated harmony, often highlighted by the
endless instances of laughter bouncing off periwinkle gates and magenta
walls.
But on this particular late afternoon, Mikasa could sense that
something different lingered in the air. It was a day when the sun shone
with extraordinary radiance – Hanji and Armin’s joint experiments
against pollution had become more and more successful in the recent
months – but she knew it wasn’t the extra saturation of color all around
her that inspired such anxiousness.
As she departed the storage room, leaving her now-clean weapon locked
in a personal cabinet, another caretaker by the name of Sasha waved for
her from the end of the hall.
“Karula!” The young woman’s ponytail swung like a rhythmic pendulum,
rocking back and forth at the same rate as her arm’s movements. “You
have a visitor.”
Mikasa wrinkled her forehead in confusion, though she immediately
headed towards the waiting area. “Armin again? But he just came two days
ago…”
“No, it’s not him. And wrong way, actually.” Sasha corrected from
afar. “He’s in your room right now – Hanji sent word in advance that he
is another old friend of yours.”
Shards of anticipation suddenly scratched at her every nerve,
prompting her legs to dash in the fateful direction leading to renewed
hopes.
It can’t be…can it?
There was little dramatic pausing in front of her own door – from the
evening at Krista’s, she recognized that locks and hesitation only
shortened what precious little time they had all been bestowed in this
world - and so her hands gripped the knob as soon as it came within
reachable distance. A hurried twist upon brass, and the final barrier
gave way to a sight Mikasa never imagined she could witness again.
“Karula is a beautiful name.” Bathed in the warm hues of the
afternoon sun, the figure sitting at the edge of her bed spoke with
subdued amusement as he looked out her window. “But I must say I still
prefer the other one.”
From her vantage point, little had changed about him other than the
slightly more defined angle of his jaw. Everything else, from the length
of his black blazer to the folds of his cravat, remained just as she
remembered. The onyx lengths of his hair hung in that same faultless
distribution, spreading uniformly from the middle of his scalp and
ending at his undercut.
“Levi…” The sands in her hourglass finally began to trickle again as her heart tumbled. “When did you…?”
“About four months ago.”
Levi stood as he delivered the surprising response, hooking both
thumbs into the pockets of his trousers in a firm stance. Just as
Mikasa’s bewilderment began to surface, he turned his head, allowing a
full view of the rich shades of blue that had been relegated to her
memories alone. With each passing second, the magnetism between them
stirred amidst surges of tension, seemingly even more powerful after at
least a year of lying dormant.
“Erwin ordered everyone to keep my recovery secret, since I needed to
establish a new identity.” His tone bore hints of frustration,
indicating that the process had been a struggle. “He also refused to
tell me where you had disappeared to…but Hanji could never hold up such
ridiculous charades for very long.”
Attempting to keep herself under control, she took a careful, almost
undetectable step towards him. “They probably…just wanted you to focus
on your rehab.”
“It didn’t exactly work, though I still managed fine.” Levi mimicked
her movement ever so slightly. “But knowing that you were out here where
I couldn’t be yet…made the past four months absolute hell.”
The statement pricked at Mikasa’s own heart, for she understood all
too well what that oblivion felt like when it came to his previously
unknown fate. Coincidentally, the outside world brought hints of the
pending night through her window at that very moment, providing an
indirect illustration of where his toils had taken him. The newly formed
shadows in the room now obscured Levi’s features, and, with another
hesitant step forward, he spoke of more ominous notions that she had
almost forgotten to consider.
“Mikasa…” Though those fatigued eyes did not avert from hers, she
could detect his labored refusal to touch her, “Know that you still have
me at your disposal…to complete your vengeance, however you deem
appropriate.”
The reminder dimmed Mikasa’s mounting elation of their reunion, and
she thought back to when she had first openly professed her decision
while still confined to The Legion’s infirmary bed.
Erwin must have wanted him to hear things from my mouth, rather than be the messenger.
“I’m finished with revenge and nightmares, Levi.” Almost impassively,
she reiterated her choice from a year ago, though she concealed the
fact that it had already been made in Krista’s guest room, and then
again at his headquarters. “I’m not going to use your life as a
bargaining chip any longer.”
Something gleamed in Levi’s gaze, as if unexpected hope had been
reinstated. “Then forgive me, Mikasa Ackerman.” He took a third, larger
step in her direction. “For your parents. For all those lost years.”
His nearing proximity, combined with that earnest plead, both
shattered and healed all the remnant brittle parts of her existence.
“And what do you offer me in return?”
“Only the shell that is myself.” The arm bearing his concealed eagle
tattoo lifted, as if inviting her to take flight alongside it. “For all
the years still to come.”
The promise of their better future elevated her like the most potent
of gusts, while leaving nearly every worry or doubt back in the chasm
that would never engulf her again. However, Mikasa understood that the
vision was far too idyllic - that no matter what, the realism behind
their circumstances would not take mere words to resolve. Inhaling a
deep breath, she declared the vital truth plaguing her heart, knowing
that her honesty would haunt them both in the most severe manner.
“I’m afraid…that I cannot accept.”
“…what?” His response was nothing short of jarring.
“I…”
“Hanji told me what you said the day you came to visit me for the
first time.” He drew memories from another sector of his mind, as
reservations had evidently invaded everywhere else due to her rejection.
“Do you…no longer still feel the same way?”
“I’ve thought much about things over the past year. Though I won’t
carry out retribution any longer, and though what Ms. Zoe told you still
remains true…genuine forgiveness will not happen today, either, Levi.”
She gave great pause before continuing. “In fact, it may never happen.”
The outpouring of pain in his eyes was beyond difficult to ignore
now, but Mikasa forced herself to withstand the sight. For months she
had waited to divulge all these certainties, without knowing if there
would even be the opportunity to do so. And now, as she faced him at
last, it took every ounce of her resolve to speak her peace.
“The fact that you dealt the final blow to the two people I loved the
most will always hover above us. That tragic detail will never,
ever
change.” Her own voice threatened to quiver at every syllable. “No
matter how much my heart wants to follow you to the ends of the earth,
we will…always be divided by that insurmountable wall.”
Just as his stoic façade began to crumble at those final, bleak
statements, she quickly took the hand that had extended towards her,
supporting him from the imminent descent into further turmoil.
“But…thank you, Levi.” With eyes now shut, she lifted his fingers to
her lips, ensuring that their first contact in ages would end up being
the most affectionate of all. “You took a part of my life away, yet you
somehow returned much, much more back to me in the short time that we
shared.”
The shift in her outlook prompted Levi to release a long-held breath,
and even through her temporal blindness she could feel his posture
relax again. He stood there now with slackened limbs, permitting her to
grant restoration in the form of kisses along the bumps of his knuckle.
“So will you offer me time, on top of yourself?” Mikasa gave her
clause as soon as she reached the edge of his skin, lashes half-hooding
an uncertain stare at his dangling cravat. “Will you wait for the day
that this divide may finally crumble, and I can look at you again as
just Levi - nothing more? Even if…that day never comes?”
He flipped his hand over then, removing it gently from her grasp, and
two fingers traveled to the point of her chin. She recalled that it was
the same pair that had made contact on the night of their tea and
conversation, and the tips now touched her again in a similar manner –
though this time with impossible tenderness.
“You and I both know that day will come.” His words appeared to
possess enough confidence for them both. “I will use the strength you
gave me to climb all that separates us still. Whatever it takes.”
The deluge of her emotions swelled over every ounce of self-control
then, and with a sob she threw herself towards him, initiating that
perfect reconciliation of all the possibilities that had almost been
seized from them both. His torso welcomed her with its comforting
expanse, absorbing the fervor ignited by their eventual collision, and
the shield engraved in his back finally returned to serve as her
shelter.
“Then I will do the same on my end.” She verbally signed their pact
against his shoulder. “You will never be alone in this quest, even if
I’m not there next to you…remember that.”
“You seem even stronger now, Mikasa. Even though parts of you have
softened.” Declaring his new discoveries like the children she looked
after, he brushed the same knuckle she had kissed along her slender
neck, eventually tangling fingertips into the curtain of tresses now
tickling his collarbone. His other hand hovered around her wound that
had almost proved fatal, now pressed closely against his own. “We even
have similar scars…”
At those words, Mikasa’s grip upon his back tightened, and he spoke
no more of the horrors that ironically formed yet another bond between
them. Instead, they stood in place for what seemed like epochs, sealed
together in that long overdue embrace. Only when he leaned back to place
a kiss to her cheek did distance come between them again, and when thin
lips finally slanted against hers she responded with zeal, allowing the
physical connection to speak vows that had always eluded them both.
You’re exactly what I need. Heal us. Come with me.
Even all their past declarations amounted to so little in comparison to
this consummation, through which all the walls of the labyrinth
disintegrated, replaced outright by the utopia that only housed their
most pleasant dreams.
Before they mutually perished from a lack of breath, he tentatively
detached their mouths. Nevertheless, all the rest of them remained in
flushed contact, forming the illusion of a single entity dwelling in her
darkening room.
“So is this good bye? For now?” Settling his forehead into hers, he whispered the foreseeable circumstance.
She reached in to steal an additional kiss. “Just…for now.”
With a sigh, Levi unwound himself from her, and though she mourned
the loss of his warmth, she knew that their next reunion would likely
make up for it hundredfold. When he stepped aside to head in the
direction of the door she did not stop him, but she also did not deny
his concluding reach for her hand.
“Come back to me…when you feel like you are ready again.” His thumb
ran over the sheathed tendons one by one as he urged from behind.
“I shall.” She spoke into the shadows that they both had traveled in
for far too many years, and the last lingering rays of dusk became the
interim beacon towards the paths resting ahead, now entirely lit with
their faith in each other. “We still have battles left to fight in this
world…and I already know the only one I want by my side if we must draw
weapons…draw blood once more.”
Levi scoffed gently in response. “We will make everything beautiful again, somehow.”
After a final clutch, he terminated their contact and journeyed
onward. But just as he crossed the threshold, Mikasa felt herself spin,
for she recalled one more thing that he so deserved after all they had
gone through. Her sudden movement prompted him to suspend his steps and
turn around, regarding her with fond curiosity.
“Levi.” Words fell from her mouth in an intimate refrain, as if she
had already recited them for a thousand previous lifetimes. “Aishiteru.”
He smiled back with an unprecedented brilliance that rivaled the sun
of her youth, and the budding joy laid the first beautiful building
block in the reconstruction of their story.
“Aishiteru, Mikasa.”
-
Chapter VII – End
=========
Fukushuu – Fin
-
A/N: And…it’s done! Thank you so, so much for
following along since the prologue! You have no idea how much I have
been overwhelmed by the support for
Fukushuu. My very early
contact with the RivaMika ship (And the two characters individually)
inspired this idea, and through writing it as well as other pieces
in-between, the story pulled me further and further into the brilliant
spiral that is this fandom.
The ending actually changed about six or seven times. I originally
had just Levi die, then I had both of them die, with Armin narrating at
the end (Yahhhhh I’m sure
that would’ve put me in good graces
with all you readers out there, LOL)…then just Levi perishing again,
then neither, then Mikasa…there were so many alternatives that I didn’t
know which to decide on. But when I did a recent read-through of all the
previous chapters again, I realized that it would be most cruel and
unusual to kill either of them – because they suffered so much both in
canon and in this universe, and thus they deserved at least a little bit
of happiness. So I left it a little ambiguous here…which was probably
the most appropriate since (In all honesty) it’s actually impossible for
them to restart with a clean slate when “fukushuu” was what tied them
together intrinsically. However, if you really want to know what I
envision for them in the future: I see them back together, fighting
side-by-side in the field and eventually toppling the government
(Because they’re just too brilliant and awesome for words…
and
because I also wish for this to happen in canon). Most importantly, they
continue to love one another both perfectly and imperfectly, since that
embodies the reality of any relationship. All that is going to be left
up to everyone’s imagination, though, because unless something
significant occurs, this marks the end of the Fukushuu universe
writing-wise for me! Thank you again for reading – please reply or
message me with your final sentiments!!! :)
P.S. Yes, Mikasa became a Fruit Ninja.
SUE ME.
