Attack on titan - Shingeki no kyojin fanfic Fukushuu chapter V

Fukushuu - Chapter V

-
Mikasa wasn’t certain how long it took for them to became a tangle of limbs upon her futon, with her undergarment discarded to the side and her kimono now somehow serving as an extra sheet beneath her body. She only distinguished the curbed desperation of her own mouth as it pressed against Levi’s neck in multiple places, teeth provoking light marks of red upon the pale skin while he precisely removed the last of his clothing.
Once he was devoid of all attire, he lifted himself into a seated position upon her stomach, his knees resting on the sides of her waist. Mikasa blushed furiously as she drank in his nakedness, her mind surveying his arousal while she perceived her own increasing moisture down below. He was a glorious specimen in every form, the ideal shell of virility concealing endless wounds that threatened to break free at any moment – wounds that he only permitted her to discover.
He said nothing as he proceeded to lean over her and take hold of one end of the bandages that still restrained her chest. Before long, he began to skillfully undo the strips layer by layer. She breathed deeply as she observed his complete focus on the task, wanting to see his reaction once no more barriers obstructed them from each other.
When her breasts finally sprang free, she noticed that he could not tear his eyes away even as he sat back again. She was now splayed nude before him, one arm bent at her side while the other encircled her head, hand resting above. The yellow sink material beneath still felt like heaven as it rubbed against her shoulder blades and buttocks, though the rest of her was now more exposed than she ever intended. She felt her nipples peaking as they came into contact with the cool air, already anticipating what’s to come.
“You’re perfect, Mikasa.” His voice bore a hint of awe when he spoke at last, his eyes studying her like a timeless art piece as he tossed the bandages towards the room’s corner. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
With that, he reached out towards her with his right hand, weaving fingers within her hair before gradually moving downward to outline the structures of her every feature. Next came her neck and collarbone, which he made sure to touch in the same tantalizing manner for both sides, teasing each ridge with an almost strange fondness. The seductive journey then continued down her sternum and cut vertically across her abs before sliding to the left towards her waist and hip. There, Mikasa felt slight disappointment at how he touched only the outward area of her thighs rather than the more intimate side, but she nevertheless marveled at his measured pace as he outlined nearly every expanse of her skin, lingering at where it was softest while triggering delicious friction against her harder muscles. All her previous experiences had been frenzied manifestations of male lust, each coupling more distasteful than the last. But this was an act of pure temptation, one designed to make her ache for him as much as vice versa – and he was certainly succeeding.
She could detect his shaft twitching against her belly as his roaming hand eventually returned to her torso to palm one breast, and her eyes shot to his when those familiar fingers began to knead its softness.
“Le…Levi.” She barely recognized her own voice as she attempted to wrench back control. “Show…show me how I make you feel.”
Without breaking their gaze, his other hand reached downward to grip his throbbing member, fingers wrapping delicately around its growing girth. With each massage he administered to her he began to pleasure himself at the same rhythm, allowing the erection to rise until it could stay elevated on its own. Somehow his breaths remained as controlled as ever, but she noticed the slight drops of his jaw as he needed to release more and more air with each stroke. The recurring motions of his arm also brought his eagle tattoo alive, with its intricately outlined wings upon the bicep becoming more menacing, while the sharp, opened beak prepared to consume her entirely.
Mikasa now felt her entire body flush, all senses caught between the mesmerizing feeling of Levi’s ministrations and the performance she was shamelessly watching. It was the most erotic scene she had ever witnessed, for he was demonstrating the effect she had on him with such transparency. Impulsively, she lifted an arm to reach for him despite his weight upon her and his distance. The ends of her fingers could barely touch the tip of his hardened shaft, and as she placed a delicate trace of her own against the tender, spherical muscle, his expression twisted into something turbulent. Almost immediately, a tiny amount of white fluid dripped from the opening, coating her fingers.
Via some sort of wild reflex, she retracted her arm and placed those same fingers against her lips, her tongue darting outward briefly to taste the salty substance now upon them. Levi’s blue eyes became conquered by a stormy haze as he watched her teasing gesture, his throat gulping hard a few times to silence whatever sounds that threatened to escape. Seeing his reaction, Mikasa moved her fingers to the breast he was not tending to, outlining the peak languidly with the remnants of the creamy liquid. Above her, his strokes began to rise in pace, and his other hand glided from her bust to the ground as he sought to balance himself further with that arm.
Yet another round in our ongoing duel. Mikasa could only grin at his clumsiness, and he answered with a frown.
Before she could continue the thought, Levi suddenly shifted his position and bent downward, hovering close above with little space in between their bare torsos. He then removed his fingers from his engorged member and slid them further beneath, seeking out her crevice.
“Nice try.” His head lowered before hissing against her neck, and he followed the phrase with a kiss upon the same spot. “But I still have the upperhand for now.”
“Or so you think—oh!”  She attempted a swift comeback for his taunting words, but her voice faltered as she felt two of his digits reach her opening, probing gently against the damp entrance while his thumb began to tease the sensitive bud just above. Meanwhile, emphatic lips sucked upon yet another area of her neck, and this time she could feel a cunning smile against her skin.
Shortly, Levi began to insert one finger into her folds, curling it meticulously at every centimeter as he hunted for her most sensitive region. Mikasa could only whimper as he proceeded to enter and withdraw at a languid rhythm, echoing his earlier, controlled pace upon himself. When his mouth moved downward to devour her nipple, her back lifted in surprise. His tongue was ruthless as it began to swirl circles around her delicate flesh, licking against every bump and indent with enthusiasm.
She could not bite back a loud moan when he finally pressed against a particular spot within, the pressure generating flickers of pleasure within the most secretive corners of her mind. The sound caused Levi to halt all his movements – but only momentarily before he tested the location again and induced another shameless cry from her. With the confirmation on hand, she felt him place weight upon the spot a third time, only this round, it was combined with his teeth’s soft bite upon her nipple and a skillful brush of his thumb against her swollen clit.
It was as if fireworks had gone off in her brain when the union of three sensations impacted her neurons simultaneously, sparking a climax so strong her hands almost ripped the silk she had been gripping. Never had Mikasa experienced something so wonderfully intense that her throat could not even produce a single sound. But even though the orgasm itself was silent, her heaving breaths and flushed face gave away her unchaste condition. Out of the corner of her eye, she made out Levi’s satisfied expression at his victory.
Before her nerves experienced full recovery, Mikasa felt him remove his finger and adjust his body position, eventually nestling his entire lower half between her spread legs. When he ensured that she was attentive to his actions again, his fingers coated what he gathered of her fluids throughout his erection, lubricating the surface until the protruding blood vessels practically reflected the dim room light. She almost came once more at the sensual sight, knowing full well that soon she would feel all those tender ridges firsthand.
As he situated himself in front of her still-trembling folds, Levi raised a single brow, seeming to suddenly recall an important matter.
“Are you…?” His eyes searched hers hopefully, and she knew why – he had not brought anything for this previously unplanned situation.
“Don’t worry. Ymir gives me the necessary concoctions.” She murmured, concealing the fact that contraceptives were actually a requirement within the Squad. But before the guilt of the lie surfaced enough as a distraction, she spoke the words that both of them had been waiting for.
“Cure us, Levi.”
Something sparked in his eyes at the indirect request, and he lowered his lips to hers, engulfing her in a drugging kiss. Mikasa quickly opened her mouth to permit his tongue entrance, and right as Levi began his oral exploration, his hips pushed forward without reluctance, penetrating her with one smooth movement. She was so wet at this point that he entered with little effort, and he almost immediately initiated their coupling, sliding within her at an ancient rhythm. His tongue mimicked each undulation of their lower bodies, entering and exiting her mouth at the same steady tempo.
“Mm…ah!” Mere moments into their bound, Mikasa wrestled her lips away from his briefly, needing one second to release any sort of cry before the soaring euphoria buried her whole. As soon as the sound escaped she returned to kiss him again, her throat swallowing each of his own diminutive groans without prejudice. Beyond the provocative battle of their mouths, she could do little else but hook her ankles together behind his back, clasping both of her thighs securely against his hips and hanging on for dear life. Meanwhile, one of his arms encircled her waist, whereas the other extended upward, eventually clutching both her wrist and a sizable amount of the silk fabric below along with it.
Oh Gods, I’m coming apart at the seams. Her mind raced with the helpless thought as she linked her free arm around his neck, trying in vain to make his kisses to go even deeper. To her dismay, the action had the opposite effect and forced Levi to detach himself for air, though he kept their foreheads in contact. His accelerating breaths soon lost synchrony with her gasps, which had already begun to take an irregular pace of their own. By this moment, Mikasa found that she could no longer recall his role as a fatal threat or all the troubling circumstances they still had to face. It was just him above her, surrounding her, within her, giving her what she had desired for so long. In his ardent embrace she was discovering the true definition of security, as if the shield he carried could defend them both from all the barbarities loitering outside their current refuge.
“Mikasa…” She smiled as she heard his faint whispers, each in conjunction with a pleasurable lunge from his hips. There was something so exquisite in the way he recited the syllables of her name, as if his voice was the only one ever meant to declare it. Meanwhile, the hands atop her head began to intertwine and initiate their own duel, with violence-ridden fingers all in a struggle against one another - but not actually wanting to break free from the cage of their shared transgressions.
Despite the motions of all their other body parts, nothing interfered with Levi’s unrelenting pace. Each thrust and withdrawal now brought Mikasa’s mind into another dimension, one where only she and he existed, where she could finally discover true elation via his touches alone, and where no vengeance or tragedy plagued their every heartbeat. The rapture that was building throughout her body and soul was now the unexpected remedy for all her past sufferings, and she lifted her hips desperately to meet his every push, not wanting to miss a single moment of her healing ritual. Their stigmatized blood now flowed into a single stream, bridged by this profound connection and blending into a symphony of beatitude that strived to purge them of all their past crimes.
 “Faster…faster, Levi.” Her request came out as an anxious, almost inaudible whimper. But Mikasa knew that he had heard it, since his hips immediately began punctuating his thrusts with shorter and shorter pauses. The increasing friction between their joined bodies rendered the rest of her almost numb, but the soft bites he was now placing all over her neck and collarbone constantly revived the feelings that threatened to disappear. She was utterly drunk on ecstasy, as if no other sensation but that gratifying pressure would ever matter to her again.
His voice suddenly sounded with raspy command.
“Let go, Mikasa…let me feel you burst around me.”
Her eyes darted open in surprise as Levi eagerly sealed their mouths together again, almost bruising hers in the process. He unlinked the hand positioned above them from hers before inserting it between their oscillating forms, and his index finger soon expertly pressed against the jeweled flesh that had already brought her to nirvana once.
Let go. She heard his voice echoing once more in her head. And so she obliged.
This time, the orgasm crashed into Mikasa like an endless storm, propelling her back to arch so powerfully that she thought her spine no longer existed. Stars flooded her vision while she moaned uncontrollably into his mouth, but every attempt to cry out his name failed, for his tongue remained entangled in hers. Levi’s palm against her lower vertebrae shoved her torso flush against his while she rode out her climax, their bare skin unleashing scorching heat as they practically fused together through this heightened state of being. Her inner walls pulsated frantically around his member, and his hips rolled with wild abandon as he began to reach his own zenith.
With a final thrust, she felt his essence release itself within her at an erratic rhythm. His neck, still stained with the countless reddened evidence of her claim on him, stretched far upward as he freed her mouth to let out an extended moan of his own. Amongst the haze of her trance Mikasa vaguely made out her name within his untamed cry, and she whispered his in return, repeatedly liberating each of the two syllables like a prayer from her swollen lips.
Levi, Levi, Levi… Her thoughts were consumed by the same words she spoke, and her brain attempted to latch onto what was left of the exhilaration for as long as possible. The bliss traveled from her core throughout the rest of her exhausted body, generating forgotten sensations that made every cell shudder in delight.
As their mutual pleasure diminished, muscles continued to vibrate against each other, like impossible puzzle pieces still trying to form a seamless assembly. Mikasa could especially feel those rigid abdominals against her slightly more tender ones, the gentle grazes that came with each labored breath serving as subliminal acts of affection. Somewhere within this unruly tangling of body parts existed an intimacy she never knew she needed, an intimacy she never imagined possible – much less with the man above her.
Though we are now one, we are no longer alone.
Eventually, Levi lowered his forehead to hers again, his eyes still tightly shut as he panted with urgency. But even while his shoulders rose and fell, his lower body remained completely immobile, as if not wanting to remove himself from within her. With fondness, Mikasa cupped his chin with both shaking hands, relishing his rare vulnerable moment. Fingers then reached up to trace his thin brows and wipe away the sweat drops that had collected, but like reckless streams, the liquid continued to slide down in multiple rivulets from his hairline. He looked so defenseless, so unassuming, so beautiful.
“Aishiteru…” She gasped out the confession in her native language before she could stop herself. As soon as the phrase was uttered, however, she shook with horror at her lack of control.
“What…what did you say?” Eyes still struggling to open, Levi spoke for the first time since his climax.
“Nothing.” Scrambling to salvage the inadvertent situation, Mikasa pulled the side of his face down against her neck, her fingers caressing his scalp as an additional distraction for what he had missed hearing. “I said nothing.”
Don’t, Mikasa… don’t get addicted to this. To him.
“I could’ve sworn…” Levi mumbled as he appeared to drift in and out of consciousness, but as her hands continued to apply soothing touches along his undercut, he suddenly lifted himself again, blue eyes becoming fully alert at a moment’s notice.
“Fuck, did I hurt you?”
Though the irony in his statement ran thick, considering who he was, Mikasa nonetheless felt relief that he had not perceived her earlier declaration. “Well, as long as you don’t fall asleep on top of me like this the whole night.” She shook her head and unhooked her ankles at last, enduring the slight discomfort that bit into her feet.
He scoffed in between labored breaths before carefully untangling her legs from around him, groaning as he withdrew from her. Mikasa grimaced, feeling her body protest both the soreness and the sudden absence. But her expression soon turned to a triumphant grin as she registered how the vice grip from her thighs had actually bruised her lover’s waist on both sides, imprinting symmetrical violet blotches in addition to all the rosy spots that dotted across his neckline and the blemish still stretching across his ribs. If this were another universe, he would be irrefutably mine now. She thought with both wonder and anxiety.

Still kneeling on the futon, Levi brushed his own fingers across the newly discolored areas, causing his face to contort into occasional scowls. “This is going to be painful, you know.” He glared in response to her pleased look.
“Never underestimate the power of a woman’s thighs.”
At her teasing advice, Levi smirked and wrapped a hand around her bent leg, caressing the sinews of her hamstring in appreciation. With some force, he smoothly rolled both their bodies to rest sideways upon her hopelessly wrinkled kimono. Her hands immediately went to his shoulders, gripping them for steadiness against the sudden momentum. As they came to a stop, she pulled herself against him until no distance remained in between, her skin once again savoring the impressions of his muscles.
Wordlessly, they gazed at each other with half-opened eyes, as if unsure of what to do next. Within her somewhat muddled thoughts, Mikasa suddenly comprehended what he had described for her, for she finally saw her strength reflected in his own revitalized orbs, the flickers of its flame almost too striking to regard.
Days ago I was ready to kill you. She nearly declared the treacherous words. But now—-
“Mikasa.”
The firm manner at which Levi spoke her name had her at full attention instantly. “Come with me.” He stated the invitation without hesitance, irises brilliant with expectation as he traced her cheek with the back of his fingers. “Leave this place.”
Her eyes widened. “You want me to join…”
“No.” Both of his brows creased, as if loathing the thought of her becoming involved in his more despicable affairs. “I just want you by my side, Mikasa. And if I ever do decide to leave the organization, I want you there with me.”
Her heart skipped an aching beat, but she remained silent, wanting to cherish each word for just a minute longer. Tell me more, her yearnings rebelled against the threat of spiraling circumstances.
“I know I agreed it would just be once. But now I know I will need this…” He buried his face into her neck, breathing in her scent and planting the most delicate of butterfly kisses along her throat. “…I will need this for the rest of God-fucking-knows when. I know – and you know – that we can restore each other to the core if we tried, Mikasa. No more nightmares, just us.”
Mikasa felt herself tremble, both out of being moved by his admission and acknowledging her own need to distinguish harsh truths. What had just transpired between them was indeed everything she had sought after for so long, but she knew that it also embodied unspoken promises of an impossible future. Whatever she felt for him – and vice versa – was already cursed from day one.
“I’m sorry, Levi.” With what little strength she could still conjure up, she shoved him away as delicately as she could, removing herself from the sanctuary of his vows. “I can’t.”
The reaction in his eyes was nothing short of astonishment, and the scorching flame extinguished once more.
“I don’t understand.” His tone abruptly turned, now bearing aloofness similar to their initial meeting, when he still possessed endless suspicions towards her. “What ties do you still have here?”
Unable to face his scorn, she shielded her breasts with both arms and turned away completely. “I have none. It’s just that when I said it was only once, I meant it.”
“If you are refusing because of who I work for—”
“No, it’s not that.” Her throat forced out every word whilst struggling to maintain a tone of indifference. “You’re only acting this way because you’re misled by something that is not there. Just remember this moment right now and forget about the future. Please.”
Take that genuine thing away, and he will not hesitate to hurt you back.
Even as she spoke, Hanji’s warning resounded within her brain, and Mikasa prepared herself for Levi’s imminent, spiteful response. Yet when no sound other than the shifting of his body came, the desolation within her heart swelled even further than if he had spoken, ensnaring every nuance of her being in a vacuum of torturous misery.
An agonizing silence blanketed over their nude forms, negating all the sublime exchanges that had taken place just minutes before. The crumpled silk beneath her, no longer bathed in joint body heat, released a callous frigidity that felt like needles against her skin. Every prickle was a reminder of how plagued this whole charade had been since the beginning, of how foolish they had both been to surrender to fantasies that never should’ve existed in this world.
After what felt like an eternity, Mikasa gathered the courage to turn and glance in Levi’s direction again. What greeted her was the symbol of his attempted fortitude, its vigilant shield and wings appearing to now blockade even her from venturing further into his newly abused domain. While she accepted the rejection with solemnity, the various parts of the tattoo blended into one another as tears occupied her vision, signaling the first genuine lament to assail her heart since the day of her parents’ demise. She had promised to lend him strength – instead, she had extorted what remained of his own away.
With trepidation she leaned into him from behind, lips quivering against the inked feathers along his shoulder blades, wanting to shout apologies yet sealed shut by unwanted resolve. When Levi failed to react to her proximity or the sensation of liquid drifting down his damaged back, Mikasa knew that she had stung him from deep within. The scars from whatever restoration that had taken place earlier had been ripped apart again, exposing wounds even deeper than before. And so she retained her position next to him as she drifted into sorrowful slumber, her mind hoping that despite it all, he would at least stay with her until morning.
If only you knew that there is no future for us, Levi. If only you knew how the actual truth about me would collapse everything…
—
No doubt triggered by her own heartache, she found herself dreaming of that painful day again.
“Put these poor people out of their misery.” Erwin’s command sounded for what seemed like the thousandth time since these dreams first started. “We have no choice.”
She watched the young subordinate’s body freeze in hesitation as he looked to Erwin for affirmation.
“I know they would be your first kills since you joined our forces.” The tall man placed a hand on the teenage boy’s shoulder. “Yes, it’s difficult. But…”
Against the even undercut of dark hair, Erwin leaned in to whispered indecipherable words before straightening once more.
A pause.
“I promise that it will get easier from here, Levi.”
Levi.
Wait. What?
Mikasa felt her entire psyche stiffen at the previously concealed detail.
Without warning, the scene shifted to the chaotic memories of their passionate lovemaking, skipping from moment to moment as the sounds of ecstasy jumbled together in a distorted soundtrack. Suddenly, the handsome face that had hovered above hers just minutes ago began to reverse in age, each feature diminishing in its harsh angularity until only a slightly more cherub appearance remained. The only parts that remained consistent were those eyes; those blue, emotionless irises of a younger Levi that had looked down upon her parents’ bloodied forms before methodically dealing two final shots to each head, silencing their whimpers forevermore.
No. No.
This can’t be.
It’s only because my mind is now filled with thoughts of him, it’s not real…it’s…
Her mouth opened to scream in anguish and confusion, but she could not release a single decibel.
Is it really that shocking of a revelation, Mikasa? She heard her own voice mock inside her head. That’s why you recognized him briefly during the night you shared tea, after all. There was never any victory or happy ending awaiting either of you in this world – only merciless fate that would suffocate you both. You knew this, you knew…
She awoke with a start, cold sweat drenching her entire figure as she struggled to make sense of what her mind had just processed. Out of instinct she searched for the warmth of another body to relieve her shivers, but her line of vision was no longer filled with Levi’s tattooed back. No matter how much she stared into the hollow space, only the room’s own ominous darkness remained.
He’s gone. She shut her eyes in at the unfathomable reality, shuddering as the void occupying her chest slowly, excruciatingly became substituted by a tormenting fury.
And he was the one who murdered my parents.
-
Chapter V – End